15 November, 2007

Does anyone ever feel like they are in the world's deepest ditch with no way out?

That's pretty much how I feel right now, and I've been this way for a while. I've been in a pretty down mood lately and it just feels like it is getting worse. There is so much going on right now in my life that I feel like I want to escape. Everyone has their problems, and I'm not exempt from them to say the least. I've struggled with a lot of different things in my life and have come out the other side fine on all those occasions, a little banged up but still intact. Lately it just feels like it is a whole lot worse than it has ever been before. I feel like things are completely falling apart. I haven't had what I would consider a good day in a while. The only fun I've had in the past few weeks/month was the 2 days that I have raced. I don't get it. I'm just miserable, I do know a little of why I feel this way, but there is also nothing I can do about it. I'm just pretty much at my wits end and am just really down. I don't know.....


munsoned said...

It could be worse. You could be a guy with AIDs in Africa.

I think a lot of people go through this after college. They get into a job they are originally happy with, but then find that everyday is almost the same and you know nothing new is going to happen. This is where hobbies and/or family comes in. Want a life change? Have a baby. Current hobby not working for ya? Pick up extreme underwater basket-weaving.

I've debated about picking my music back up since I'm not really on the bike as much anymore. I do miss it and would like to play some music.

All I can say is, fix problems in life if you can, and just enjoy the journey. Hope you can join us on some rides, because that's what usually keeps me sane.

sydney_b said...

I second munson...but, you might talk to someone b/c depression is different than just a blah downer kinda run of days. We all get the latter, but the former needs extra attention.

I find when I am at my lowest, I tend to also be the most self-focused and simply forcing myself to do some nice little surprises or help others clears it right up. Just some ideas. Hope to see you down racin' this weekend.

Matt N said...

Mike - I like the basket weaving idea.

Syd- I'll be there on Sunday.

Depression is something that has come to my mind before. My mother is bipolar, aka suffering from manic depression, and I've been to some shrink's in my past due to some things, but it has never really come up.

I think Mike has it right and it is that post college funk. It kind of sucks not going to class and being around my core group of friends.

It's funny college is supposed to prepare you for life, and I think the more you spend on your education the less prepared you are for the real world.

Ah, who knows?

sydney_b said...

"It kind of sucks not going to class" betcha thought you'd never say that.... :D

Then try something you've never done before. It'll be fun. My oldest boy, 17, graduate early and is working, but find himself with a lot more unstructured time than he ever had before and is going through some of the same thing. In January, he's going to take a kyaking class they offer at the indoor pool here at the U. AND I bet there's even a scuba center in Omaha. (We have one in Lincoln) if you want to try extreme basket weaving. ;)

Chris said...

If there is nothing you can do about what is making you feel the way you do, you gotta forget about it. Easier said than done, I know.

Matt N said...

Life is difficult and some more than others. I'm not trying to sound like a martyr or a victim.

I think it has a lot to do with more time on my hands and my mind wandering to the bad things in my life, than being a little more structured and being able to look at all the positives. I've been through a lot and have overcome many obstacles, and that is all this little funk I'm in really is, just another hurdle in life.

My dad told me the day I graduated from college that I was going to have so much time on my hands that I wouldn't konw what to do with myself, and he was right. I really just need to get back in the gym and start lifting and playing racquetball agin, that was when I was really doing great with everything. Idle hands are not good, especially with me.

Besides if I've accomplished a lot on my own in my life and their is plenty more for me to kick ass at. It's funny most call me a loaner, even my girlfriend, and that's pretty true. A lot of times I'd rather be by myself and have all the weight on my shoulders. It's a different type of path if you forge ahead by yourself. I grew up taking care of my mom, rather than the opposite, so my view of things is a little skewed, especially looking at other people my age that still 'suck on the teet', rather than go it alone. I'm just rambling here, but you get what I mean. I hope.